by Gugu Mpungose
Dimakatso Mokwena (36) from Pretoria, is a father to a ten (10) years old daughter who was diagnosed with Congeniatal Hydrocephalus when she was 3 months old. Dimakatso said at first he was in denial, but as time went by
and witnessing her condition. He came into acceptance with her condition.
“I was in denial at first. It only dawned a couple of months later when the reality kicked in. It really hit me hard. I went
through a major depression, but I had to deal with it. Raising a differently-abled child is not easy, I constantly have to fight for my daughter’s place in this world.
Also, the world has not accepted them as “normal.” For instance, when I take my daughter out for lunch or shopping, the stare we get really saddens me. I wish people can stop that.
“When I see my daughter, I do not see someone who is disabled. She is my daughter, and I love her so much.”
says Dimakatso
In addition, he feels differently-abled people are not optimally catered for in our society. “When we go to malls we struggle to find disability bays. Why do they have only two disability parking bays in a big mall?
Furthermore, it is financially taxing. In 2020 alone, I spent about 100k on my child’s care. In 2011, I fought the medical
company refusing to approve my child’s new wheelchair claim. They wanted a motivation letter for them to approve it.
I’ve had made financial sacrifices to see to it that my daughter is well taken care of. At some point, I survived with a bare minimum as long as my daughter was fine. “I understand what it means to put my daughter first”
Despite the challenges, Mokwena says raising his daughter ignited a resilient spirit he never knew he had.
Additionally, with him openly loving and posting his daughter on social media has drawn parents raising differently-abled children and unconsciously helped deal and overcome their challenges.
Her daughter moved in with him early this year as her school is nearer. Dimakatso said he was emotional at first, but has gotten the hang of things with the help from my live-in helper and her sister,Anna Mokwena.
“Staying with my daughter helped me to understand her better.”
Message to fathers who have abandoned their children
“Break the cycle the absent of fatherism. Kids only need their father’s love not material things. Fight the good fight. If
you are denied access to your child/children, the law makes provision if you show interest. Lastly, go out of your way to
be the father you would have wished to have,”
